Speaking of Spandex

My Jennie just cracked me up with her Spa Day story. It includes spandex. I don't have a spa day story, but I DO have a gym day story!
I go to the local 24 Hour fitness on occasion. Quite early in the morning, I usually get there at 5:20ish. So there's this man. This man will henceforth be known as "Creepy Spandex Guy" or CSG because I'm too lazy to type all that out. Well, CSG is an odd sort of fellow. He wears head bands, which, in and of themselves are not creepy, it's just the way his long mangy hair sorta puffs out the top of it that looks a bit off. His spandex is where the REAL issue lies. It's purple. Not like purple, purple, but more of a lilac-brownish sort of purple. When the purple ones are dirty, then it's pink (dirty baby pink). When those are both dirty he opts for those really short, REALLY loose gym shorts. Oh, he tops it all off with a loose fitting tank top, the kind that hangs really low in front. So, as if the spandex wasn't bad enough....my friends and I were sure he didn't wear anything under them. It turns out he does. I had a few free sessions with a personal trainer and was telling him of CSG. He knew exactly who I was talking about. The trainer had the blessed opportunity to be in the locker room with CSG and confirmed that he does, indeed, wear undies....a thong. I am uncertain, at this point, which is more disturbing. I should mention that CSG's fave thing at the gym is the Elliptical Trainer. Hold on....

OK. Had to throw up.

So, this morning. I went to the gym, I was minding my own business swimming laps the pool room was nicely deserted. UNTIL...da da da dum. Apparently CSG found a close out on dirty lilac spandex. He walked past the pool (and into a sauna...THANK HEAVENS) in what else? A purple Spandex SPEEDO!!! I don't think I'll sleep tonight.